Say "No"...It's Good for Your Health

Have you ever said "yes" to someone or to a situation but felt it was something you'd rather not do? Possibly, felt pressured into doing it because the person asking was a friend or your mom or a boss?

Perhaps you walked into a dark alley feeling it wasn't a good idea, but did it anyway, saying "yes" to a potentially bad situation? Maybe you had friends whom you felt didn't have your best interests at heart, yet you remained friends and subjected your Self to the toxicity because you didn't want to hurt their feelings. 

In all of these scenarios, you are saying "No" to your Self and "Yes" to everyone else or other situations which may not be good for you. How does that feel? I think it feels super crappy. I've absolutely done this numerous times in my life. We say "yes", not really wanting to, and end up resenting the person or entity for whom we are volunteering our Self. JUST SAY NO! 

Why is it so scary to say no to people? They are not more important than you. Their feelings are not more important that yours. Their time is not more important than yours. What is it, then? 

I believe this inability to listen to our gut and do what benefits us is due to an internal struggle regarding our own self-worth and worrying what others will think. In the case of choosing a bad relationship or walking down a dark alley, it's a case of mis-trust. We don't trust that we know what's best for our selves. 

Saying "No" when we want to is an amazing health booster. Let's reframe this.

You aren't feeling well and need some down time. Someone asks you to help them move. Which answer best suits you:

1. You say, "No". No explanation needed. What happens? You go home, rest, and recuperate over the weekend, preparing for the next few busy days at work.

2. You say, "Yes"? Well, you've now over-extended your Self, you feel worse, resent your friends for asking, and end up with declining health and have to take off the next few busy days of work. This means next weekend will be catch up time

....Which sounds more appealing?

Next, you meet a woman who is gorgeous, sassy, and about 2 weeks out of a 6 year relationship. You tell your Self she is amazing and you want to give this a shot. She can't commit and won't be able to for a long time as she is still autopsying her last relationship. Which answer sounds more appealing: 

1. Yes: And after a mucho turbulent 6 months later you are realizing that she is seeing other people and lying to you about it, still can't commit, and news flash, is seeing her old flame again. 

2. No: You recognize her need for space and get to know her from afar. You like her, but move on and don't commit to someone who can't commit to you.

Which sounds better? Yep, I thought so. TRUST YOUR GUT! 

Let's talk about your HealthCare Team. You have a Massage Therapist who is an awesome person, but you aren't getting what you need from him/her. You keep putting money into it, yet you aren't getting the results you want. You can....

1. Say Yes to him/her, and continue feeling like you aren't being helped like you need to be, become resentful of him/her for spending your hard earned money with them, and in the end get mad at your Self for continuing the madness...All because you don't want to hurt someones feelings.

2. Say No to him/her, and not only are you giving them space for a new client who loves what they do, but you've also freed your Self to find the Massage Therapist you've always wanted and needed. The one who makes you feel heard, and cared for. 

This, my friends, is a no brainer. 

In the end, I hope we can all see how our own decisions create our lives and that we can't be used without our own permission. We can't be forced into doing anything we don't want to do and have the power to say "NO" when needed and warranted. Which of the answers above felt light and positive, and which felt heavy and negative? Remember that. 

Love your Self.

A "No" to them, is a "Yes" to you. 

Get More From Your Bodywork and Massage

One thing I've noticed is we don't get the full affect of our massage because we move through life full speed ahead. While relaxing after a massage sounds perfect and I'd prefer everyone to do it, I'm also very aware of the demands we put ourselves under.

I get questions like, "Can I workout after my massage?" No. You may not. Relax, and let your body recover and recuperate. Does the client always listen? Well, in a perfect world, yes. 

Or "I have a bottle of whiskey calling my name tonight". Nope. Allow the toxins to flush by drinking plenty of water. Have your whiskey tomorrow. (Hey, I like whiskey too, and I understand that people are going to do what they like). Get your water intake up, folks.

Ideally, we are hydrated. We get our massage and relax afterward, continuing to drink water. If there is a certain area of the body which was "worked over" pretty well, throw an ice pack on to bring down any inflammation.

Engage in meditation or breathing exercises. Restorative Yoga is amazing after a massage. (Relaxing in poses and focusing on the breathing.) Seems easy enough, right?

Above all, listen to your body. Again, we are all going to do what we are going to do, and in the end, it's our choice to say "yes" to our body and "no" the rat race....for a day at least. 

Below is an article I read which gives 10 tips to getting more out of your massage. Check it out. I thought it was pretty helpful. 

Get more from massage: 10 tips

• By Trevor Connor

• Published Oct. 21, 2015

• Editor’s note: This article accompanies a story from the October issue of Velo magazine, previously published online.

Here are some tips for getting the most out of your sessions.

Time it right

“When I’m really training hard, I’ll add a massage because I want to make sure I’m recovering as fast as I can,” Eric Young (Optum-Kelly Benefit Strategies) says. And Tiidus agrees that heavy training may push us beyond that inflammatory threshold, where massage might be of the most help. So if you’re going to get a rub down, the best time to do it is after hard workouts.

See the therapist who’s on top of the research

You’re not looking for incense and mood lighting. If a massage is going to help you, it will be in large part because it was delivered by someone who specializes in sport science and stays abreast of the literature on things like mechanotransduction (the process by which soft-tissue pressure and stretching promotes immune and biochemical responses). Ask for recommendations and interview different therapists. You’re after something more akin to a medical treatment than a spa day.

Find a middle ground

Clearly you want more than gentle caressing. But, as Young points out, “if you’re grabbing onto the table and crying, that’s probably doing damage.” One study on massage found that overly vigorous sessions increased muscle damage. It has also been shown that the degree of pressure has an impact on the balance between inflammation-promoting and repair-promoting macrophages.

Work your way up

Our veins have one-way valves that prevent blood from flowing in the wrong direction. Massaging against blood flow can damage these valves and cause varicose veins. Make sure the therapist works your arms and legs in the direction toward your heart.

Don’t wait too long

The immunological benefits of massage appear to be greatest when treatment takes place within two hours of damaging exercise. If you can’t fit one into that window, plan for no later than the next day. Macrophages shift from inflammatory to repair mode 48 hours after muscle damage occurs. Inhibiting them with massage when they’re in this mode could be counterproductive.

Mind the pills

The same rules apply to painkillers. NSAIDs like acetaminophen and ibuprofen block inflammation, which can be good or bad, depending on where your balance is at. While researchers still debate their effects on training, there is growing evidence. This includes a well-cited study from Denmark in the Journal of Applied Physiology, showing that NSAIDs taken post-exercise by male endurance athletes inhibit satellite cell activity, which is critical to muscle repair and super-compensation.

Don’t ignore the other stuff

Massage doesn’t replace things like cool downs, recovery rides, and stretching — all of which are backed by extensive research. In fact, a 1983 study out of Sweden published in the American Journal of Sports Medicine found that stretching was more effective for recovery and range of motion than massage in healthy male volunteers.

But don’t exercise after massage

No study has found benefits to pre-workout massage. Hard exercise does further damage and would undo any potential immunological gains from massage.

Yes, use your foam roller

The rabbit study that found benefits to muscle repair used a mechanical massager that was more like a foam roller than a regular massage. (Apologies if you were envisioning lab assistants pampering rabbits on little bunny massage tables.) Two recent studies showed that foam rolling reduces soreness and allows runners to restore their full sprint speed sooner. Higher density foam with bevels appears to increase the effects.

Tune out

Physiological benefits or not, there’s no denying a massage can be good for the soul. “Sometimes it’s just nice to sit there and force yourself to think about the race,” Young says. (We also like thinking about nothing at all.